Do You Have Trouble Dealing With Negative People?

The check out lady at the grocery store snaps at you, "C'mon lady I haven't got all day," as you fumble for your debit card. The teenager flips you off as he nearly broadsides you in traffic because you weren't driving as fast as he would like.

Let's face it, no matter how spiritual you strive to be, there will be those you encounter that will knock you right off center. People will thoughtlessly fun over your feelings and lash out in anger. For some, this takes an emotional toll. My ex-wife would sometimes have experiences like this and be saddened by it for an entire day. I must admit being an Amiable personality type, I've even been plagued at times by bouts of despair over the harsh way people can be as well.

But don't worry, I have a solution! You see, I was reminded by the words of Jesus. He said, "Forgive them for they know not what they do." One day, this struck me. You know I started finding compassion for these angry people. I began to imagine what their reality must be like to lash out in such ways. Can you just imagine? Obviously people don't act this way when they have lives full of love and success. This got me thinking about just what was causing the anger in the first place.

I began a different approach. I must admit when I was younger I was the type to react. At one time I considered having the word KARMA tattooed across my knuckles. This may give you some indication of how I thought best to deal with it at the time.
Now, however, I realize that when someone lashes out in anger and you react with fear or anger in response, you are in effect giving your power away to that person.

So I started looking at these people when they behaved this way and telling them, "I forgive you." Sometimes they never heard it..zipping by at 95 miles an hour in a car on a cell phone, the words dissipated into the ether without a single notice from them. Other times, these simple words produced the most profound effect. There have been times when I've said this that I saw an incredible look on the person's face. A jarring disbelief, confusion, as if I'd just showed them a glimpse of the almighty himself. There have been occassions, when after repeating these words 2 or 3 times, the person has actually broken down and began to cry. This is perfect, it causes them to release their pain.

This is the secret of angry people. They are acting out of pain. When we forgive them we open a pressure valve and that pain is released. We give them comfort, and what's best, when they least expect it.

I encourage you to try this. You don't have to accept the responsibility for another person's pain. This is the con people try to play, it's called the shotgun blame game. They are in pain and looking to blame and they randomly direct it in all in their path.

A friend of mine was a healer, and he used to say, "If someone attacks me, I take that as permission to heal them." Forgiveness is an incredible cure for pain, and it allows you to keep your power at the same time.

All the best!
Bill White
The Synchronicity Expert